Synchronization of Us

Day 17 – 23 It was recover time now, she was doing better each day and started taking some of her feeds by mouth. Getting to breast feed her for the first time was amazing, she latched on with no problems and that was her started. We were finally getting to hold and snuggle with our daughter. She was moved from an incubator to a “cot” and moved to another room. For the first time since she was born we were able to hold her without asking first – to walk into the room and lift her up felt amazing. I tried to be there for as many breastfeeds as possible, when I wasn’t she got expressed milk and formula when I ran out of milk. She was getting better each day but we still had no idea when she would be coming home

Day 24 – Today Dr Kubba had planned to bring her back into surgery to take a look and
see how things were healing and would hopefully be able to give us an est. of homecoming. It was a long day, he was busy with other more important cases and DH and I just spent the day with Rebecca. Around dinner time he came and it was good news, her throat was healing very well, there was still some joining with the vocal cords but he didn’t want to keep trying to separate them and would see how she was when she was older and possibly operate then. He couldn’t tell us a date for when she could come home, she needed to be taken 100% feeds by mouth and he honestly told us that could be weeks. We finished that discussion and I more or less ran from the room in tears, going to the bathroom to try and calm myself down. Looking back it was silly, I had just been told my daughter was healthy and going to be fine but it had been a hellish few weeks and all I wanted was to be told we were taken our baby home. I really was an emotional mess that night and was beginning to think it would never be over.

Day 25 – DH was working during the day so my MIL took me into the hospital, i knew straight away something was different with Rebecca but somehow it took me a while to realize her feeding tube was gone. Completely by herself she had started rejecting feeds through the tube and only wanted to be fed by mouth, we had a lovely visit during the day and of course came back in the evening. She was doing amazing, recovering quicker that anyone could have hoped and she would breastfeed when I was there and take a bottle when I wasn’t. They knew I wanted to breastfed exclusively and suggested coming in the next day to spend the day and night with her to see how I got on.

Day 26 – We arrived at the hospital nice and early, I got to give Rebecca her first bath and get her dressed for the day. After morning checks we got moved into a room just the two of us. Its hard to describe the next few hours, finally I was alone with my daughter. It was just her and I and I could hold her and feed her as much as we wanted. I lay with her on the bed just watching her, she wanted to feed a lot but I loved it each and everytime. Family members came to visit during the day, my parents getting to hold her for the first time. After everyone left it was just her and I, our first night alone and my first night as a hands on mum. I didn’t get much sleep that night, already you could tell she didn’t want to sleep alone and would fuss everytime I put her down. I spent a lot of the night dozing with her in bed, feeding at least once an hour – both for comfort and building up my supply again. I had been told by the midwifes that I could go and get a bottle anytime I wanted but I was so determined to do it without .

Day 27 – I had a wonderful morning, getting woken up with my daughter’s cries and cuddles. I got to bath her again and get her dressed, they weighed her in the morning and it was then I heard the magical words I had been wanting to here for weeks “If the doctor gives her the all clear she could go home TODAY” , And yes that’s what happened – she was doing wonderfully more than meeting all the requirements needed to go home.
She was giving the ok by the doctors, we were giving a lesson in what to do incase of chocking (just a normal thing done before anyone goes home) and a car seat test and we were sent home. Just like that it was over, 3 days before hand I was in tears thinking we were never getting her home and just like that we were on our way. Carrying her out of the hospital, putting her in the car and taken her to our house to begin our lives as a family are moments that I will never forget.

So that’s, that Rebecca’s story. She was lucky to not have other problems associated with the condition. At one point there was something different with her heart, an extra ventricle but she had the all clear on that at a few months old. She also has some tight joints in one thumb, we had to bend it regularly for the first few months but it seems ok these days. She may need more surgery next summer but for the moment we are just going to enjoy our newly 2 year old and put the past behind us.

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