Synchronization of Us

While I may not practice the same parenting tactics, as you, I would never judge you in the way you parent your children. That’s just it…they are YOUR children. If they are responding well to the tactics you are using, then why fix something that isn’t broken?! For example, you said Eilidh doesn’t want to co-sleep and you don’t make her… so, you are doing what they want and meeting their needs. Like I said, if your children are responding well to this parenting style, then run with it and forget what everyone else says.

No matter the parenting style, people can be critical and cruel. I am sure their kids aren’t perfect, nor are their parenting skills, so they really have no room to judge!

Good luck! And keep doing what makes your babies happy!

I agree with the above. You’ll get criticism with any method of parenting you choose. My harshest critic for the first two months was my mother. Then, when she realized what I was doing worked, she became my biggest supporter.

I think it’s great you can breast feed…period. I tried for two months with SD, but he was so lactose intolerant, we had to switch to formula. You do what is best for the girls. Ignore those who are critical. And, shag em all. (That is the most appropriate thing I could think of.)

Ah your so nice with your wording.Being on that group and seeing the sick, sick, sick comments, I have to say I think you handled it very well. If it were me, I don’t think I could have been as nice. IN fear of twelve page angry rants, I try to steer clear of bringing up those stupid comments on mine, lol. I stay out of those conversations because I just don’t know what to say. I CAN”T breastfeed, I tried with my first and my doctor didn’t even want me to attempt it again. So I feel a bit left out, since I don’t. However I think it’s great that you did and still do! Don’t be offended by stupid comments, it’s your right to continue to BF and they are YOUR children, so it isn’t anyone’s place to tell YOU when you should stop.

I am so frustrated by the judgment we must endure as parents! No matter what approach we chose, we’re bound to get an earful from someone. Every mother and every child is different, and we all find what works best for us. There is no ONE RIGHT WAY, can’t we just respect each other?!

I am somewhat AP in mindset as well - altho not so much in practice, LOL! Nadia self-weaned at 15 months (and I miss it…I wish I had encouraged her to continue BFing), and she sleeps better on her own (so much like Eils!).

that concept of nursing as being something dirty or sexual infuriates me.

At any rate, I say KUDOS to you for sticking with what you believe, regardless of the ugly, uninformed comments you get. You’re doing what you feel is best for YOUR kids and that’s what counts.

it is interesting how other people see things, isn’t it. i mean, we are total opposites in the way we parent our children but i never once gave it a thought.
i had trouble with breast feeding and found i was a much happier mom when i stopped trying. i have been made feel pretty bad about that on many occasions by people who think breast feeding is the only way.
i started solids at 4 months- because my daughter LOVED them and devoured everything i gave her. people often look at me like i’m insane when they find that out. ha!
and really, if i didn’t let the bean cry once in a while i would probably be in an institution right now. i learned when the cry meant she needed me and when she just needed to let off some steam. a lot of people have looked at me like i was a monster for that.
SO, incredibly long story to say: it doesn’t matter what you do there is ALWAYS someone out there that will think what you do is WRONG and awful. BUT as long as our children are healthy and happy what we do to keep them that way shouldn’t matter. raising a child is hard enough without being constantly criticized!
it seems to me that you are a wonderful and devoted mother. keep up the good work!!

Laura, you and I are very similar in our views! We co-sleep, extend breastfed, delay solids, no cio, used to cloth diaper even…I have very similar views as you. My dd was breastfed until she was 2.5 yrs old. My 11 month old is still nursing and not on solids yet, and they both sleep in our big king size bed. I think I would be just like you and not have a baby sleep with us if it clearly wasn’t what they wanted.

People can be so close-minded and ridiculous in the things that they say. I was nodding my head in agreement with every point that you made for why you parent the way that you do.

I’m so sorry that people said whatever they did about you breastfeeding still. There is so much that people don’t know because they don’t do their research. A child’s immune system isn’t even fully functional until they are five years old and breastmilk helps it develop and helps protect the child. It also has great benefits for the mom…decreases cancer risk, weight loss, etc.

I won’t turn this into an essay more than I already have! I’m so sorry that people have said that about people who breastfed and that you were on the end of it. I do have strong opinions on why I do things the way that I do, but I always try to respect others for their decisions…so anyone reading this, know that I don’t think any less of people who do things differently than me:-) Just in case it sounded like I do.

Feel better and keep up the awesome mothering;-)

Hugs,
Teresa

I agree with Brittany, i dont practice the same parenting as you but who am i to judge and i expect there are things that i do that you dont. People and be so rude, cruel and judgemental. And if it works for you sod the rest of the world!

I wrote this post a while ago http://billysdiary.com/2007/03/23/single-minded-ignorant-rude-and-inconsiderate/ like you my blog is not to chnage the world, it is about my baby and i think a great record of his life.

I am another AP style mum - breastfeeding, babywearing, no strict routine type. Except that we no longer co-sleep unless Emma is ill or having trouble sleeping. It makes me so mad that people feel they are justified in passing judgement on the way some of us choose to feed and bring up our children. It shows a complete lack of respect. Good on you for not being put off by it and for having the courage to do what you think is right.

Everyone should be free to have their own approach. Some have problems breastfeeding. Some simply feel uncomfortable about it. Some love it. Some people need routine in their lives, and others feel suffocated by it. As long as our babies are happy and healthy, then we should be left to get on with it and not have to suffer derogatory comments. Live and let live I say!

lol - I’ll get off my soapbox now!

What a fascinating discussion! This subject sure gets everyone going doesn’t it? I’m not sure where I fall in this picture. I only breast fed for 10 months but that was because I went back to work. I’m sure I missed it more than she did. I used to offer her the breast and she’d look at me as if I were mad and reach for the bottle. I co-slept with her on and off for years…but as I was on my own this was easier. It worked, we got a good sleep and I liked to think that if I were meeting her emotional needs now, perhaps she wouldn’t be as needy in later life. (seems to have worked already)I started to get pretty fed up with it though when she started hogging the bed And as for ‘cio’, there is a big difference between a 2 month old ‘cio’ and a 2 year old!!!
The reasons for their crying are usually totally different.
I think maybe there is a big difference between ‘attachment’ and ‘dependency’; the one thing I did NOT want was a child who could not function without me.
The main thing I remember about the whole baby to toddler experience was that you can get yourself in a real state about ‘doing the right thing’ or following a particular ’school of thought’ when all you really need to do is LOOK and FEEL. Does this child LOOK happy and healthy? Do you FEEL comfortable about your decisions? A friend’s best advice was ‘go with your gut’ and this of course will be different for everybody. As for those people who HAVE to impose their opinions and values upon you, well, they obviously weren’t well parented!!
I’ve kind of rambled here…hope some of it made sense.

I totally don’t see anything wrong with BFing over the age of 1 or co-sleeping… but we do have to do the CIO with Lore because other wise she turns into the worlds biggest BEEP when she is tired and fighting it… but she only cries for about 5 mins before we hear her pass out in her crib lol… and we do get her in the middle of the night if she wakes… But we could never co-sleep… Jeremy sleeps with 3 pillows and 3 blankets… we would lose her in the bed lol… I wish my milk would of really came in… but I only ever got 2ozs at a time and it wasn’t worth it after 4ms because I had to pump because Lore hated my boobs lol… but I think you are a great mum!! and screw the others that are rude and stupid!!