Synchronization of Us

I have been in such a blah mood all day, all i could think was in so many hours i should of been getting my scan. Then of course it was i should of had it by now….

I know im being silly and there is much more important things in life but dammit i am a hormonal pregnant lady and i had been looking forward to this all week. I actually woke this morning feeling almost optimistic as they were not the only scanning place nearby just maybe someone else could squeeze me in today .  Of course things rarely work out that well but i did manage to get an appointment for 10am Monday morning.

DH pointed out Monday may even be better, its the day before Rebecca’s surgery and instead of spending all day worrying will have that to look forward to and will hopefully be all happy and excited after finding out thus passing some time.

I don’t remember feeling this stressed about finding out the previous times , i do wonder if its because i feel this is the last? Every other time the sex didn’t matter as there would be another chance for the boy.

I guess that is what it boils down to , i would love a son. I would love to be the mother of a boy and discover all the joys that come with that. If the baby is a girl i will be thrilled, what more could i ask for than three little princesses ?  There would be no disappointment in a girl but i would still have to mourn the little boy i will never have.

I’m just going to try and keep busy the next few days, the homebirth support group tomorrow and Courtney’s school fair (well Rebecca’s to as the playgroup is also trying to raise money for the end of term trip) on Saturday. Sunday is big clean day and Courts is coming for a sleepover so hopefully the time will pass quickly . Oh wait am i not  wanting it to drag in as im dreading Tuesday?

Think im confusing myself now

(Oh and to top off the day our freaking tv will not turn on, i wish i could be one of those people saying ah no big deal. But it is  BIG DEAL AND I WANT MY TV BACK .

The end )

I have had my evening planned all day, my computer is causing me nothing but problems these days and the format and reinstall of windows the other day has done nothing to help - all i had on hand was Service Pack 3 and it just doesn’t get along with my computer. I cannot send emails using outlook using it and its driving me nuts , so tonight i was going to format again and install Windows Xp Service Pack 2.

While the computer was formatting i was planning to write a nice long blog post about the last few days and then spend some time catching up on blog reading and commenting.

Its been one thing after another (such as the disk not working right and not been able to transfer files over to DHs computer ) and its now 8.30 and im just to tired and annoyed to even care.

Thats not my biggest disappointment , the people from the scanning place called about an hour ago to cancel tomorrow. I have more or less been in tears over it, i *know* its silly but i just was so excited about it. Im so nervous over Rebecca’s hospital appointment next week that this was all that was keeping me going.
The sonographer is off sick, which straight away just bugs me - i mean its a BABY SCANNING PLACE , the whole point is to scan babies and they only have one person who can do that? Freaking stupid if you ask me.
They did offer me another appointment at 5.40pm Friday (but warned she still may be ill) well i cannot make it then as Craig is working and not only does he want to be there but i have no way of getting there with out him (not fancying bus-ing it with the kids when its bed/dinner time).
They could also offer me 12.40 on Tuesday the day of Rebecca’s surgery.
Basically its rescheduled for a week tomorrow at 3pm .

There is another one in Glasgow, im going to give them a call first thing tomorrow and see if there is any way i can be fitted in that day or Friday maybe. I just don’t want to wait another week

Its good to get it out, its been such a nice week aswell and the scan was the icing on the cake for me.

Craig is now all done with exams and we can finally spend some family time together, we took full advantage of it yesterday and spent the whole day out and about. I took the kids to rhyme time at the library then Craig took us for lunch and swimming.
We all had a blast and of course everyone was shattered.

Eilidh was apparently really tired out (as we never made it home for nap) , i went to check on her this morning at around 7.15 as i had not heard the slightest bit of noise from her all night long (it had been over 12 hours at this point). I think i woke her up as she demanded out the cot .
Of course the minute we got through the living room she lay down and went back to sleep, trying to put her back in the cot didn’t work so she slept on the couch till 8.30 when the smell of toast woke her up.
Come 10am i tried naptime not expecting her to go, she took a long breastfeed (about 10 minutes, which is about 10 times longer than normal) and fell asleep in my arms . I had to wake her at 12.30 as Rebecca had playgroup.
She even took a 15/20 minutes afternoon nap in the car.
And come bedtime? She passed straight out.

I am hoping it was just the chaos of yesterday that has made her so sleepy and she is not coming down with anything, possibly a growth spurt? Hard to tell as she always eats loads.

- Now there should me more but seriously i HATE MY COMPUTER and cannot be bothered retyping it again. (As if shut itself down mid type)

So my u/s is in 4 short days, im pretty much convinced im having a girl . What do you think?

Im also planning a little giveaway, after voting in the poll leave a little comment saying what you think. For those who guess right i will have a prize draw. The winner will receive a little box of Scottish goodies

Now who doesn’t love to shop? Me actually when it involved dragging two young children around various shops trying to find the best deals. Shopping online is the way to do it.

Normally shopping online involves numerous searches , most times i end up going back to old favorites and buying from them even if they are not the better deal. The choice of sites is much to large to spend all night searching. You can safely say Shopping.com is going to become a much used site of mine.

You can search a range of goods from computers, furniture, lingerie through jewelery to clothing. Wanting to save some pennies ? Each search shows you the various websites offering your product for sale and the cost to buy (also shows postage and packing costs) .

After you find your product you want you click the handy “buy it” button to get taken to the place to purchase. I have already found a few things i want to purchase at a much cheaper price than i had found elsewhere

The sheer amount of products features has me amazed, there will be nothing you can not find on here. Not sure what to buy? Check out some product reviews.

This should be your one stop for all your shopping needs, why spend all your free time searching when shopping.com has done all the hard work already.

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Yesterday we received something in the post that i have been waiting for , for a while. Nope it was’t the Princess Lucy Sleeping Bag that i ordered for Eilidh (although that did come and so far so good as she is unable to escape from it) or the second batch of Homebirth DVDs for Rebecca and i to watch (which yes came to) .

It was the letter from the hospital with a date for Rebecca to go back in, her surgery is scheduled for the 3rd June . To say im terrified is not a strong enough description .

I know at this point its not a big deal, she will be put under anesthetic and a scope placed down her throat . Dr K (as i will now call him ) will be able to see how much webbing /joining is left and later on that same day we will be able to talk about the next more. If possible he may try to do some separation during the operation to avoid going back under again.

In the grand scheme of things its not a big deal, plenty of children and adults go through worse on a daily basis BUT Rebecca is my baby. We are putting her under anesthetic which is both unpleasant and always presents a slight risk . We have no idea how she will react to it or feel once everything is done, we have been told to expect an overnight stay although they may let her come home if she seems ok.

I don’t want to do this, i want to forget the whole sorry situation and go about our lives. I don’t want to be dealing with operations, surgeons and hospitals ever again (part of my reasoning behind the home birth)
but i also want my daughter to have the best life she can. I just hope she understands that.

Does anyone have any recommended reading material for kids going into hospital? I was thinking maybe this one but am not 100% sure.

Today started just as crappy, sure the morning went fine but food shopping was a nightmare. Take two fussy, tired toddlers and what do end up with? Both Craig and i were stressed to the max fighting with them both over everything. By the time we got home he and i were barely talking.

The good mentioned in the title? Well happened at that moment, we both sulked and opened the mail for the day. Craig was the first to crack the smile showing me the letter, not everyday you get some extra money in the post :). Now we are not talking millions but enough to get caught up in some bills and help with the next month or so (which we thought was going to be very tight before the extra money from Craigs working full time came in ). We are no longer worrying about Rebecca’s birthday but thinking about what to get her.

The other great bit about it? We are using a little of it for a sexing scan, rather than waiting till 28 weeks to see if we end up getting it free (which was doubtful as im booked in for it on a Wednesday, previous scans had on Wednesdays were done by a grumpy woman who acted liked we had asked for a limb when we mentioned finding out the sex) we are getting it done next Thursday at 3pm . I CANNOT WAIT lol

Today was also Day 1 of toilet training, i finally decided to stop messing around and actually given it a shot. Rebecca is showing all the signs she is ready and uses the potty constantly, the only thing holding her back was me.

For day one she done great, she had no accidents in the house . When going shopping in the morning we put a Feel and Learn nappy on her. I wasn’t wanting to risk her having an accident in the middle of the shops, i asked her constantly if she needed to pee and was always told no. When we got home yes the nappy was wet and she didn’t seem bothered by it in the slightest.  Im going to avoid using them as much as possible and hopefully after a few days they will not be needed at all.

This afternoon we took a walk to the shops and to get Courtney from school , wearing pants of course.

She done great and on the way home we passed our flat , at first she said yes to wanting to go in and pee but changed her mind after my sister teased her about getting left behind (Gee thanks Sis x) . A few minutes after getting to the school she had her first accident.  We didn’t make a big deal out of it, discreetly changed her underwear and left her to it. Before we left she did ask to go to the toilets in the school but never done anything.

Going out and having to hold it is still a new thing for her, but for day one i think she has done wonderfully and im so proud of her.

How great are the Apple iPhones? I know im hoping to get one when the current phone contract i have runs out.

Before today i had never heard of iphone screen protectors but looking at the invisibleSHIELD i can see they would become an essential purpose along with the iPhone.

With young children in my house phones and put through constant hardship , my current one is scratched the screen barely visible. The invisibleSHIELD is applied directly to your phone and at only .2mm thick it doesn’t add bulk of make the phone look bigger. Its scratch proof and also comes with a life long guarantee.

With origins in the military you are using powerful technology to protect your phone. It is simple to put on and comes off just as easily leaving no residue behind . If still not convinced check out the demo video given on the home page, see the product in action and realize that its not just practical but well cool

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Does anyone else struggle coming up with titles some days? I can spend ages trying to think of something and in the end use something generic (such as Mixed Bag)

Did i mention the girls taken a shower the other day? Well its now become the latest obsession, both are stripping of multiple times a day and just begging for one. I am limiting it to just once a day for now and that once normally lasts for about an hour. Sure its cute and fun but the bathroom ends up flooded. It really is amazing how unscared they both are of the water.

Today we spent a lovely morning on a play date, the little girl is the same age as Eilidh but they are really different as can be. Today though my two and J played together so well , its amazing to watch the different in Eilidh and Js relationship as they get older . I honestly could see them becoming great friends. You know Indoor play centers really are the perfect lazy mum day out, the kids have a BLAST but mum gets to sit and talk for over 3 hours

Now this was not taken today but at “B In The Park ” , Eils is having a great time digging into the picnic. As i had such a great time with her there i have vowed to spend some more quality time just her and i.
Mondays when Rebecca is at playgroup are now “our” days. Yesterday we baked some cakes (Although we did cheat and use a pre packed one, Eilidh is a little young and impatient for full on baking yet)

Afterwards we took a walk to a local park , i have not been is a long time (Looking back it was February 17th of last year and blogged about here . It is maybe a 5/10 minutes walk from my house and i was wondering why i don’t take the kids more often. Yesterday i was reminded.

Does this look like the type of place you want to take your kids to play?

And im not even mentioning the actual play equipment which is rusted, dirty and covered in graffiti . I didn’t have the heart to not let her play at all as she was *so* excited so i let her run around while sticking to her like glue . We will not be visiting this park again at any point in the future.

I must admit that till today i had never heard of duplicate Poker . If you head over to this Poker Room you will see its Poker , played against other people sitting at other tables holding the same cards as you. This takes the luck out of the game making it ALL skill. The best player always wins .

With more than $4,500 in monthly prizes and a 200% deposit bonus its worthy in terms of both money and time. New tournaments start through-out the day many with guaranteed prizes.

Of course if you are a novice at poker there are still plenty of opportunities on the site, learn how to play poker with the handy tutorials and try out your skills in the $3 free play rooms. There are plenty of tips and tricks available to help you up you game to.

Good luck for those playing the game, and as always may the best man win.

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And yes the mean mother that i am not only stood back and let Courtney and Eilidh bug Rebecca but took a video with the purpose of putting it up on the blog.
In my defense Rebecca fell asleep (more like passed out mid play) around 3pm, we did let her sleep for a little while but any more and she would have been up all night (no joke, sometimes going to bed about 3/4 hours later than normal after a 5 minute nap) .
Nothing was waking her up so we set the kiddies on her .

About 5 minutes after this video she was up and running around doing “crazy dancing” as the girls call it.

(Yes they are wearing Housecoats, after the showers they put them on rather than clothes and spent the rest of the afternoon naked)

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