Synchronization of Us

Its terrible i know, the point of NoBloPoMo is not to write crap posts saying i cannot write much . Was just going to leave it but for tonight i just cannot . Just to darn tired to come up with anything decent.

Its been a hell of a long day, schools are off so no nursery and had Courtney all day . Not to mention 3 very fussy and unhappy kids , to top it off DH is still not home and its 8.38 - he left about 6am this morning and i just want a hug .

Now trying to do a slide show for Courtney’s birthday and finding a song is so difficult , my head hurts and i need some sleep . I know i should not complain really, i got 8 solid hours last night without waking once but have just been lacking in something all day. I have way over booked myself this week and every day is just so busy , im getting exhausted (more than i already am ) just thinking about it.

This cheeky girl turned six today, she is moving further and further away from being a baby and closer to the (eek) teenage years. She is a beautiful and amazing little girl, she is a wonderful big cousin and is adored by us all. Next to my kids , Courtney is the most important person in my life and i hope we always remain this close.

Happy Birthday Little C

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To celebrate the event she had a party at a local play centre, its big and wonderful for Courtney’s ages group . Even Rebecca is old enough but Eilidh not so much - she climbs everything and ends up getting stuck . In the end i spent time playing with her and im suffering this evening, my knees from all the crawling and bending and back from stopping down . Eilidh enjoyed it though , Rebecca not so much . I should have kept her home but she did seem well, in the end she spent the whole party curled up to my mum complaining of being cold (we did offer to take her home but she refused).

All the kids are down early tonight, its 6.35pm and all three are sleeping . Im exhausted , for the last 3 nights Eilidh has woke up and threw up everywhere. Of course once she is cleaned up and comforted and able to go back down Ru is wide awake and needs a good feed to go back to sleep. Can take an hour or two before i can get back to sleep again. Hopefully a good night sleep tonight and no sickness, getting a little concerned.

Have any of you ever just held your baby so close you can feel there heart beat and every breath they take? Sometimes i stop breathing and keep myself as still as can be so i can take it all in . His warmth and his soul merging and meeting with mine .

Im truely embracing my AP side with Ru , we spend so many hours entangled with each other . At night im not deprived of him for a second , we snuggle and i find myself staring at him till i fall into a contented sleep . 

Outings are such a special time , the pram is rarely used - saved for those days when the rain is at its heaviest . No matted his mood or how he feels , the sling is like a magic button and he just cuddles up and goes to sleep . I love to position it so his head is just at my chin , his head just there to be covered in kisses.  We go out on walks or to the shop just the two of us , i feel free and able to relax . He is safe and we are together.

We feed for hours , breastfeeding on demand even if thats every 10 minutes .What can be more special than watching your son feed , knowing you are providing him with such a wonderful thing. 

Then they are the extra speical moments like this evening, my arms were full of children. All three of them squashed on my lap as we read a couple of stories. In turn i kissed them all on the heads , all so soft and all so perfect . A moment i will never forget

Now Rebecca seems to be coming down with it and Eilidh was up during the night being sick. The joys of being parents Back to media month for today.

Looking back this was a wonderful month, after weeks of waiting our baby was HOME. We finally got to be full time parents and we were both in love. Rebecca quickly became boss of the house and we spent hours doing nothing but holding her. I remember evenings when Craig and i would be arguing over who got to hold her.

I do laugh looking at the sleeping picture, she looks so content and happy .Think that was the only time she ever settled in the moses basket , she was not a put down in her bed and go to sleep type of child. We easily fell into co-sleeping that first month, i remember waking up the first morning with her snuggled up in bed between Craig and i and realising that this mummy gig sure does rock.

Then there is the typical crying picture, i remember getting so frustrated with her . We were trying to get a decent picture of her in the dress she was wearing (it had been a present and wanted to show them her wearing it) , all day we tried and never did get a decent non crying shot. It was such a cool little outfit that was reversible , i love that type of stuff.

I love the full body shot in this one, looking back i have no where near enough of these ones . She looks so small and perfect in this shot. Plus look a summer outfit , once upon a time we had a nice summer . Of course now that the kids are old enough to enjoy them we don’t. How about the hair band? You know i actually don’t like them but it matched the outfit so i put it on . I would put them on her now and then and take back off, plus they always left ugly red marks.

I love the whole series of shots, my mil had came by and gave Rebecca a bath . Becca already loved her baths by this point and for the first time ever pooped in the bath tub , naughty girl . She is similar ages with Ru in these pictures and maybe its just me but the similarities are amazing . From the cheeks to the eyes they just look so alike.

More like 6 weeks and 5 days but who is counting

Ru had his 6 week check up today, i guess it did go well but really we were in and out so quickly that any number of things could be wrong and no one would care. Ok maybe thats not true - hips/boy parts (i am refusing to use the T word, who knows what sort of hits it would bring this blog) and heart all look/sound great. Took head circumference which was on the 91st centile but he did not actually tell us what is was . Weight was 12lbs 6oz (gained 3lbs 5oz since birth ) .
I had a big rant planned at the state of the health care but i seemed to get the worst of my anger out venting to my mum . Our health visitors disappeared over night to be replaced by various different people , as im a third time mum and not “vulnerable ” (what ever that means) our family are of no interest to them .
The 6 week check is the only check our children get and i did not even get to speak with a health visitor but just a doctor who wanted us gone as soon as possible to move onto the next patient.

Blah Blah Blah , i just don’t have the energy for it just now. Instead how about some pictures of my little ones

My little sick girl, she is on the mend though .

Eilidh at the Halloween Disco (that we took her home early for safety reasons the poor girl)

Princess Becca

Courtney As Snow White

Rebecca as Stephanie (From Lazy Town)

Sleeping Eilidh

Brother and Sister Time

Yes another quicky post, Eilidh is on the mend but still not 100% . Poor thing is breaking my heart .
Somedays this juggling of kids is SO difficult.

Its also the 5th of November yet again, Guy Fawkes night to those not in the UK. Click the link for the back story .
We do look forward to being able to do firework displays with the kids in a few years time.

Baby number three is now needing my attention again , darn this is getting hard

Shesh only 4 days in and already a struggle. Im just fitting this post in before bed (well not bed so much as snuggling up with Ru on the couch for the night).

Not had much free time today, Eilidh is not feeling so well. Poor girl has just been off with no appetite or energy for days . Today she was just miserable ,so much so she lay down and fell asleep on the floor just after lunch .Thankfully my dad leaves for work just after one and he popped into to stay with her so i did not need to wake her to take Rebecca to nursery.

She is such an energetic happy wee girl that its really hard to see her so down and out . Im really hoping she is better by tomorrow, been a few things going on with the breastfeeding group lately (will blog about it when i get the chance, basically its been shut down ) and we had the local newspaper and such coming tomorrow - it is the last meeting and we were allowed an extra week to try and find solutions.

I would hate to miss it .

Looking through the pictures from my first month as a mum i realise they are very few i love. Most of them Rebecca is hooked up to so many wires and tubes that my heart just aches . She is so swollen and puffy (from all the fluids) and looks nothing like the girl we know and love.

These few i think are all taken from the earlier days before the surgery but they could be from after (how i wished i blogged then and could keep those memories straight)

We did not get enough cuddles those few weeks and the ones we got were amazing, she was so small and cuddly and we could just have held her forever .

Can you see her shaved head? At one point they were struggling to fit an IV and put it in her head , they needed to shave a small part of her beautiful hair to do this . I was paranoid that the same was going to happen this time around and kept asking the nurses to make sure if did not happen (of course if it was the only way , but shaving a little hair from a newborn is completely different than a 3 year old).
I always found it strange that her hair grew the same on either side (so both sides the same length) - you would of thought one side would be slightly longer than the other.

As strange as it seems for me to even think about now there was a time before i had children . For a while there was just Craig and i (not even fiancée at that point) and our two (fur) babies.

Those cats gave us some of our early parenting skills , Timmy (the one lying on Craig’s legs) was the easiest of the two and much quieter and well i hate to say it but normal. Terry (the one of his chest) was the cat who thought he was human and demanded all sorts of attention . We re homed those boys almost 2 years ago now, at the time Rebecca was 19 months and Eilidh 2 month and we had our hands full with them. The cats did not react well to yet another change and it was becoming a horrible situation for everyone, we found a lovely family for them to go and live with and from what we heard they love it there.
It hurt and sometimes we still miss them but it was not fair on them or us to be living unhappily.

Then of course came the wedding, well i guess Rebecca came first as i was 5 months pregnant at the time . We choose a small-ish family affair and for me the whole day was perfect. Im shy and not one for attention , a big fancy wedding was stuff of nightmares for me.
It was a lovely dry and sunny February day (not the norm for this time of year) and from morning till night went wonderfully. We don’t have to many photos of the day , part due to my dislike for pictures and money we chose not to hire a photographer , instead relying of family and friends to take shots. Its something i slightly regret now but then again we do have two videos of the big day to go back and look at.

Don’t the boys look handsome ? (From left - right . Bestman ,Groom , Mils boyfriend, BIL)

After that wonderful day came the wonderful honeymoon, nothing fancy just a couple of days in Inverness . After the chaos leading up to the wedding a couple of days together to relax was just what we needed.

We have not been away together since, and with three kids it might be a few years before we do anything again.

I look back on the pictures and feel so young, so much has happened since then both good and bad . We had no idea what was to come next….

I have been thinking about this for weeks now - do i want to take part or do i not? Honestly YES i want to do it, i had a ball last year and have been looking forward to it since.
BUT i admit my computer (well typing time really) is limited these days and its a struggle to find time to do a couple of blogs posts a week. I have been trying to find the 10 minutes needed to write this all day

I have decided to give it ago though, after all if it gets to hard i can always give up but if i don’t try then where do i go from there?

Last year i done an ABC of Me type thing with a different letter each day (mind you i never did do the last letters) and this year i have decided to do a “Media” month. I know themes are not needed but i just cannot come up with a normal blog post each day for a month . I admire those who can do that so much but my life is just not that interesting - its wonderful , crazy and incredibly busy but just does not contain enough material for daily blogging .

So what is media month? I admit its not entirely an original idea as i follow a blog that done a similar thing (although not for NaBloPoMo) and i have taken it from there. Each day i will be posting pictures /videos of my kids (i still want to write girls there lol) starting from the month Rebecca was born and each day posting from the next month - does that make sense? Its a whole watch my kids grow up type thing . I do plan to write comments along with the pictures to .

I know it may not be the most interesting plan but for me i felt it was a concept that could easily work and something i could do if i only had 5 minutes and not much typing time . Plus saves my just had a baby brain from having to think to hard.

So thats , that. Good luck to everyone taken part this month