Synchronization of Us

if i didn’t know better i’d say i wrote this post. i’ve been struggling in a major way. my girl is sassy and doesn’t listen. my boy has decided that he doesn’t want to go to sleep. i haven’t done anything for myself in ages. thankfully the kids play together nicely and i sit in another room and try to decompress but it doesn’t work well and i feel guilty for neglecting the children. sigh…..
all that to say, i know how you feel. you are not alone. hugs!!!

You really *need* to get a little time away honey, surely your mum/sister/hubby could look after them for one night while you spend a night on your own?

Please believe me when I say, in *all* honesty, I think if I’d had a couple of nights away from the boys here and there when I was struggling the most it would have made all the difference on me suffering so badly from pnd last year. I’m not saying it would have ‘cured’ it, but I remember instantly feeling refreshed after just one night at my mum’s.

What about talking to your HV about it? Up in dundee there’s a program (Homestart) that has a volunteer come round to your house once a week to help out with the kids, whether it’s to keep them entertained for you to take a bath, have a snooze, someone to help you take them out somewhere, or just give you some time to go on the computer. It’s worth looking into eh?

Sending you loads of hugs and love sweety xxx

No one tells you how EXHAUSTING parenting can be. Man. Especially when there is a newborn in the house and toddler/preschoolers too. Just so much.
You do need a break. I hope you find time for that massage!

Yep I agree you need to ask someone to babysit and get that massage - then time to do anything or even nothing…. I know I only ever ask for babysitting when I have a proper invite to something but that doesn’t really give you downtime as you are still tied into doing a specific thing. I am really lucky in that my Mum has my kids for no reason which gives me that time to CHOOSE what to do and sometimes I do nothing….really helps, in fact I’m sure thats what keeps me sane!! Good luck and I look forward to a post about how you did nothing!!!!!!!!

My heart goes out to you!! Don’t take this lightly…you NEED a break. NEED a break. You sound like you’re to the point of being so drained that you have nothing left to give. You need to take care of you right now so that you can take care of them. You need a good nights sleep (they use sleep deprevation to torture people, why shouldn’t the effect be the same from a child…makes one a little crazy!!). Do you normally not discipline or are you just feeling super overwhelmed right now and not doing it?

BIG hugs!! Can your husband take the kids and let you run off for a bit to reenergize? Times like these are so difficult and I hope things ease up soon. You are a wonderful mom and need some special time for YOU.

Oh honey!! I’m SO sorry you’re feeling so drained and exhausted and overwhelmed. I sometimes feel that way with just one kid, so I can’t imagine three! Motherhood is HARD, there’s no doubt about it, and it can sometimes feel so unrewarding.

I think it’s especially hard with attachement style parenting, as it’s SO emotionally involved and sometime’s it’s hard to know where to draw the line. Independence and freedom is good, but there can be too much of a good thing! I’ve found that I tend to be an all or nothing person - I’m 150% super mom part of the time, and then I have a failure and get frustrated and just want to ignore everything so I’m only operating at 20%. I’m trying to learn to be “pretty good” all the time instead of really, really good or really, really bad. Maybe that meltality could help you, too.

You really do NEED a break. You are “on” 24/7 and no one can keep that up forever. Surely Craig or your Mom or MIL can find a time to keep the kids…and if not, then hire someone. It’s important, for everyone in the family.

Great big giant hugs coming your way!!!

Days like that are so rough. I completely understand what you mean, although I’ve only got one. It seems like everything goes wrong on days like that, even little things will just make me cry because it’s just one other thing to add to my list of complaints.
I hope you are able to get a break. It will help a lot. And hopefully Ru will start giving you a little more peace at night!

Awww hugs to you!! Take some time for you. I have always said if I could go back and do it all over again (my children are now 20, 19 and 18), I would have taken some time…any time!…for myself. It’s so important, if only to have some peace and quiet to work out how you’re going to handle the ‘walking all over me’ issue. When you have a clear head, you will be amazed at how you can come back and say “OK listen up. This is how it’s going to be now.”

Children are intuitive little rascals. You will be doing not only yourself good but them as well. I am hugging you all the way over here from Canada. I feel your pain. The good thing is I am living proof a parent can survive such harrowing of times and be reasonably sane *twitch* :o) You hang in there!

I’m sorry to hear you are feeling this way. I’ve been feeling in a similar way. Have you talked to a doctor? I have bipolar disorder and I haven’t posted much on my blogs because I’ve been struggling. If you want to talk mental health, just send me a message.

Oh Laura, I feel your pain, I really do. It will get better, at least that’s what I keep telling myself. I think every mom in the world has felt that way at a few points. I can attest that the lack of sleep certainly does NOT help the situation at all. We are at 22 months and counting with the boy not sleeping through. Thankfully my mom takes them for a night every few weeks or I most likely would have snapped by now. I highly suggest letting them go, or at least him (even if you are reluctant) for a night if you have anyone willing to give you night. You would be amazed at how much lighter the load is after a good night’s rest. Good luck hon, I’m thinking of you.