Life After Kids

What do you want to be when you grow up?

I had many dreams ranging from teacher , to doctor ,to journalist . A stay at home mum was never at the top of my list, honestly parenthood was not something i thought about much at all . Things change though and staying home with my children is something im privileged to be able to do.

Lately i have been thinking about me again, the children are all growing up so quickly and i know one of there days im going to turn around and they will all be grown. Rebecca starts school next year , Eilidh the year after . Once Ru reaches that milestone what will i do with myself?

I do have some education and experience behind me , i left school at 15 and went straight to college. I spent 2 3/4 years studying before dropping out to work full time. A very silly decision but at the time it was what felt right.
I worked various office jobs mainly in the accounts department (which was what i was studying) , they were not big “important” jobs but paid the bills and kept me going.
There was not much of a future in it , without returning to studying my choices would be limited.

I don’t want to do nothing , i don’t want to be an “assistant” all my life. I want to be able to mix with hubbbys colleges saying what i do with pride and have the kids proud of their mum .

I have spent years going over my options, accounts would be the easy one . Its something i enjoyed and found came easily to me BUT i had no real passion for , i just don’t see myself doing that for the rest of my life.

The last few months i have started to accept what i real want , it felt silly then and it does now. Im terrified of saying it loud to have people laugh at me , i know its different from anything i have ever mentioned before but it is were my heart lies. Its a difficult field to get into , i could try for years and never get a study placement . At the moment i can not even try to get into the university , its not just the 3 kids (one of them a boob monster lol) but lack of the correct qualifications. There is an access course i can do at home over a year or so , as soon as the summer is finished i plan to start it . The plan is to be done with that and ready to apply for University placement in 2010 .
My plan is also to not get in at this point, see what an optimist i am . Then spend the next year hopefully working in a relevant area and building up other areas of my cv.

Will i say what it is , i just cannot just now . Only my hubby and parents know and im still scared of the reaction from most people . If you really want to know though email and i will share , maybe the more people that know the better.