Shattered

I posted a tweet yesterday stating i was “Shattered” and was not expecting the bunch of worried replies i got. Everything ok ? People asked as i looked on bemused.

I think this was a case of me being misunderstood , i use shattered all the time and it means (to me) tiredness . It is not through lack of sleep , for the first time in over a year i really cannot complain about that. Kids are sleeping well and im getting 8 hours most night .

Otherwise it is the busyness of my days , yesterday was one of those days again.

It was get up , clean , get kids ready and be out the door for just after 9 .
Walk to toddlers , walk home from toddlers + 1 (Basically i took A home with me rather than her get dropped of later) . This was a mostly up hill walk with 2 toddlers in pram and my girls walking. Took 45 minutes instead of 15.
Then home , gobble gobble very quick lunch and all go back out to do nursery drop off.
Home and collapse for a minute with a cup of tea , first time i had sat down in almost 6 hours .

Then back to it , play with kids , pick up Becca, clean , play , make dinner for 5 kids plus me , clean…

I feel myself getting closed of from being so busy , whereas i was loving the toddler groups and going out and about not so long ago i now want to snuggle up indoors and never leave. It is just to cold out there and i am just to tired.

I do enjoy having A here , the little bit of extra money is wonderful and means Christmas is going to be a great time for us but boy it is tiring . Ru and her need constantly watched and i get nothing done . Everything needs done before she gets here , which on most mornings means i am running around non stop as 4 out of 5 mornings meant to be going out.
I know it is only for a few more weeks , come January will not be babysitting any more and Eilidh will be in nursery with her sister . Till then just need to find the right balance .