Yes i am angry , very angry. I feel the world has throwing this my way and i don’t know how to handle it.
It is not fair you know , i mean the girls i understand and can cope with but not my boy. He is my last , my final and he is meant to be the baby forever. Every day he is changing and getting bigger and i DON’T like it. Infact i find myself crying over it at least once a day.
Every day seems to be taken him away from me , he is getting bigger and in the last few weeks gained such a huge level of comprehension and understanding . I watch him join in with the girls and there games , i laugh when he makes a mess then goes and grabs the brush and (tries) to clean it up. I sat back in amazement when i was able to reason with him regarding a nappy change .
He is my little firecracker , always on the go and up to something. Destroy, Break and climb seems to be his moto . And that temper ,what am i going to do about that? The striking out and the violence is horrible. He will physically attack the girls or throw objects around if he does not get his way.
I don’t want him to grow up , i don’t want to not have a baby/toddler in my life. How will i be when he stops breastfeeding? When he moves out of nappies or into a cot?
How do people deal with knowing they will never have another child? I sometimes get so angry that the chance has been taken away from me , i am a good mother darn it . I love my family and feel another child (or 2 or 3 lol) would make it complete.
With Top Ender I always said “This is the best time, if only Top Ender would stay this age” and then she would learn something else and I would again say “This is the best time, if only Top Ender would stay at this age”.
I want another child (or two) but I know in my heart that Baby Boy is my last. I am sad, but know that I have lots of new milestones for my two to go through… and then there will be Grandchildren!
I sometime feel the same. When I imagine that one day I will not feel their really soft hair, these smooth little hands tucked in mine when we walk down the street, the cuddles, the funny things they do when they learn about the world around them… I try and focus on all the things we will gain with them growing but I am constantly moving between the idea of having a third or to stop. At the moment the house is not big enough for another baby, but if it was I would be totally torn. Completely understand where you are coming from
Well small consolation I know, but at least by blogging you are recording his babyhood/childhood. I have those days too though. I have 2 girls and not having any more. Hope you feel better soon x
I am sorry you’re having a hard time. I have no idea how to help you deal with it, but I hope you find some peace with it soon.
Hi – enjoyed reading your post! I can tell you first hand that it is very difficult to handle, as I had massive problems conceiving my 2nd child (it was 18 years after my first son was born!!) and my little girl, who is 10 now, is so desperate for me to have another baby even though I’ve explained that it is physically impossible now. (I was 45 when I had her!).
I’ve tagged you over at mine if you’d like to pop over.
Oh Laura i now what you mean. I look at Sione’ all day and cry at the milestones that pass since it will be the last time i see a first smile/first time holding the head up/ and such. I would gladly have more but hubby has made it clear that he is done. We talk about it but we agreeed on three when we got married. It is something i know i will struggle with later on.
Aww, Laura. I am so sorry. I have no idea whether we will have just one more, but … I know what you mean. If Jeff and I decide NOT to, then … no more newborns in this house! How would I handle that? I don’t know. Wishing you peace!