Lately i have been feeling guilty , i feel that my children are growing up way to fast and i am missing it .Between nursery and house work i am getting to spend zero time with them. Then in a blinding flash the reason behind this came to me.
Our morning routine goes something like this.
Up around 7ish , switch computer on and get Ru and give him milk on the computer.
Ru finishes and make toast for everyone , kids eat in living room while i eat on computer. Make my tea last forever so i can spend more time on the computer.
Finally move sometime after 8 and start cleaning. Put washing load on , then sit and play computer , put clean clothes away then sit and play computer. Clean kids room then sit and play computer . Give kids breakfast and while they are eating sit and chill by playing the computer. Do bathroom and our bedroom with of course a go on the computer. Get annoyed at kids for bugging me by asking for more cereal then take another break .
Do i need to go? Does anyone see a disturbing trend? It seemed every time i done something i would stop and go on the computer , not for long maybe only 5-10 minutes each time but they add up to a couple of hours easy . But selfishly when the children come to me to do something i tell them i don’t have time as i have to much cleaning to do.
FAIL
I have no idea why it took me so long to realise what my problem was , i am spending my children’s youth on a stupid machine . I am so angry at myself for letting it get this way , what is important here ? I am completely addicted to this bunch of wires and chips and it is my kids that suffer.
From today things are changing , no i am not planning on doing anything drastic . I have plenty of kids free time to spend on the computer , right now for example the girls are at nursery and Ru is napping so i have 2 whole hours on it. I have plenty of hours in the evening to spend online also .
This morning , we got up as normal and i had breakfast on the computer and enjoyed my cup of tea. This is my wake up routine and much needed. Then i got off the computer at 8am and shut it down , yes i said i SHUT IT DOWN . If it was not on i would not be so tempted to just check email/ facebook/twitter /play a game whatever . Less than 2 hours later all the housework was done and it was only 10am . As the computer was still off , rather that go play the computer i played with my children . We played games , we had a long conversation planning Rebecca’s birthday trip to the zoo (she wants this rather than a party , fine with me) . All 4 of us had a great time , then after lunch (when i did switch the computer back on , i like to eat in piece ok ? ) we got ready for nursery and played with bubbles for a while. As we were nice and early i let Ru walk up with us .
We were all more relaxed , i can really relax guilt free this afternoon with a smile on my face. Now i am keeping this basic rule , no computer in the morning. Its simple and will make a big difference to my family.
On a completely different note, Rebecca was at yorkhill yesterday for her yearly check up . They are happy with her , breathing and weight gain is great (she is now 36lbs 1oz and 107cm tall) . He did seem a little disappointed in her voice , saying it was very quite and hoarse but there is nothing that can be done about it . Back next year and unless something major happens between now and then it will be her last appointment.
The day I switched my facebook off and cleared my blogfeeder was like a huge relief for me, too. It is amazing how it just sort of creeps in and takes over your life, isn’t it? Now I try to only check when the girls are at school or after they are asleep. I still check in the morning when I’m having my coffee, though. That is a hard habit to break! Such good news about R., too! Yeah! Have a happy day…
I feel a bit convicted by this, as I spend entirely too much time on this machine at the expense of my daughter. Trying to do better on that. Thanks for your honesty! Oh, and YAY for Becca too!!!!