Synchronization of Us

Its 6.54am and im sitting here with Blues Clues on tv and Rebecca playing school. Im still pregnant and not even in pain - darn it !!!

I have no idea what that was about yesterday and overall im pretty embarrassed over the whole thing, i made such a big deal over NOTHING. Seriously my mum had to leave work early to take the girls, Craig came home from  UNI , We cancelled dinner at his mums and two midwifes came to our home - not to mention silly stuff like completely rearranging the living room for the birthing pool .

I have only ever experienced pain like that twice before and both times i was in labor , plus i was bleeding - not much and only when i went to the toilet but it was there . I still feel like i made the whole thing up in desperation for it to be over. I did start then stop labor with Eilidh, but it was never intense just mild contractions and bleeding . It stopped then started up again about 12 or so hours later .

I am wonderging if labor has stalled due to the position of the baby, my last appointment (last week) he was in perfect position but at somepoint moved (which i knew about, eased of my bladder alot but made me have awful gastric reflux) . He is now back to back and most of the pain during contractions was on the one side, made even worse i think as for the whole pregnancy he was on the other side - my left side is pretty much not use to having anything there.  The head is “right there” but not actually started going into the pelvis - again i wonder if this is due to positioning , during contractions i could feel his head pressing down on my left pelvic bone (gosh was that intense) .

I have been doing everything i can do get him into a better position, the only time i sat down before going to bed last night i used the birthing ball and spent alot of time moving my hips in circles. Today i am going to spent my time doing the same thing. DH is going to stay home and im going to leave him in charge of the kids for most of it and i will take it nice and easy - a long hot bath with some Clary Sage oil and Lavander do the trick.  Thinking of taken the kids out for a nice long walk to (if the weather lets up) in the hope of really getting things going.

Wish me luck and i hope i have something to report soon, i can just see yesterday being nothing and still sitting here a week from now pregnant and even more misrable

Its maybe something or its maybe nothing, that’s the only answer i can really give right now.

I thought for sure that this was it,contractions were coming every minute or to and for a long 30 minutes or so right on top of each other. The side and back pain was also constant and i was getting no relief from anything. The midwifes were called and came out.

Things of course died down then , babies head is still high and is doing well. My bp and such is good to.
He thankfully seems to have moved a little and the pain in my side is gone (think he was lying on a nerve) . He is lying back to back which explains the backache.

Now we are all clueless, just pottering about the living room watching tv and trying to keep on the go, Using birthing ball and walking to bring baby down, contractions are mild and coming every 5/10 minutes which is something. Im still paranoid that im causing a fuss over nothing, but i have never had that type of pain before when not in full blown labor.

Just hoping this is it , going to be all embaressed if its not

I really think one of these should be available, im sure you mums out there all know what i mean. A 100% full proof “Am i in labor ” test.
Something simple that the mother can do at home and you can stop this wondering and asking yourself “Is this it?”

Im feeling something this morning, horrible cramps that are constant - neither sitting/lying or being active seems to make a difference to them. My body is still in “clear out” mode but then again its been like that for the last week.
I *think* i may be having mild contractions but with the cramps its hard to tell if there something more than just regular old BH . Everything seems concentrated in the front with only very mild lower backache - have had no show or leaking waters.

I have searched and searched online and constantly come up with one of two answers - yes this is the early stages of labor or its false labor (common in third pregnancies apparently) .

With the girls it was simple, both times contractions started and so did the show. I had visable proof that i was not making it up and things just progressed from there. I keep telling myself if it really was the start of something i would know. After all this is my third time doing this surely i should be an expert? .

Maybe i am having a little backache now, sitting does not seem to help. Slight nausea to ……hmmm.

Im hoping we will know whats happening in the next few hours, i would love for him to born today for one extra special reason. Its a Wednesday - i know it may not seem like a big deal but both girls were born on Wednesdays and it would just be great if R was to

So im now 39 weeks and 3 days pregnant. I don’t think he is ever going to come.

Im going to be this huge , pregnant and sore FOREVER. Life as i know it has stopped , i struggle through each day and my poor children are being neglected. At least Rebecca has nursery which gets her out for a while each day but Eilidh is going stir crazy being stuck indoors so much.

Is it to much to ask for baby R to come of time? To put us all out of our misery and just be born already.

There is so much i want to know - Will i get my homebirth? What will he weigh? Will he look like his sisters? Will the girls like him? So many whens/whats and hows.

I know this is normal, part of me really does love this - the waiting, wondering and never knowing while another part of me just hates it. You can not plan for anything as at moment things could change for good.

I just want him here in my arms, i want my family to be complete.

No baby yet, just been battling a stomach bug and general end of pregnancy feeling like crap. Will more than likely be missing in action for a while as just sitting at the computer bugs me.

I do plan to update as soon as anything is actually happening with the baby so if im not around it does not mean im away enjoying newborn snuggles .

Talk soon

It seems i think that we are pretty much settled on a name for this baby. Is it my number one choice? No its not but i do like it, its a strong name - a very Scottish name and one that any Scot would be proud to carry.
It has been a long hard journey getting to this point, we both have such diffrent ideas of what we like (i think i have said before my number one choice would be either Finley or Lucas while his something like Gordon or Peter) . In the end im not sure its the first choice for either of us but as its the only name we both like and agree on then its also the winner.
For the past maybe 2 months we have had this name on the table, i have been using it when i can .Getting use to it and letting it become part of my daily thoughts, it appears to be working as although for the most part i still refer to the baby as “baby” in my head and heart i use his name.

With the girls it was easy, i don’t remember the journey much with Rebecca’s name. We picked up a baby name book and spent a few months looking through it , we both got a feel for what each other liked and i guess as some point both realized it was the perfect choice (although not Becky, never Becky .I have always been insistent on that) . The middle name for a girl would be Stephanie after my sister , that was chosen before the baby was even conceived . I remember calling the baby Rebecca early on, long before we even found out she was a girl.

Eilidh was the easiest one yet, we knew with her we would find out the sex(with Rebecca we didn’t as no extra scans were planned till my fluid problems started, we were about 30+ weeks before we found out she was a girl) . Before the 20 week scan we talked about names a little, not really making any decisions or worrying about it much . After the scan it was decided very quickly. I asked Craig that evening if we could really talk about names now and he suggested Eilidh - i automatically said no. Then he looked up the spelling and i loved it , that was that and she was Eilidh from the moment on.
Middle name was a little bit more complicated as we wanted to use Joyce after his mum but she didn’t seem to keen , honestly we both feel she really did love the idea but did not want us to feel pressurized into it - this was definetly not true , while not our favorite name in the world we wanted to do that for her plus i have always felt Eilidh Joyce just goes so well together - plus i love calling her EJ

This time around a girl would of been Charlotte Grace (Grace after my gran) or possibly Grace Ann (which i also loved as it would be after my gran and using Ann from my mums name) . We always knew a boy would have the middle name Graeme after Craig’s brother. Alexander has been a name we both loved from the beginning but we always face the same issue - Alexander Graeme - we feel we would just be setting the kids up for teasing (a just in case anyone is not picking up the connection talking about this guy here .) If we ever had another son then i imagine Alexander will be our number one choice.

Have i rambled on enough now? Im waiting for Craig to get off the phone so we can finish our game of Mario Party on the wii and he is taking forever. For the moment our son will more than likely be called Ruairidh Graeme - like i said its very Scottish and follows the same tradition as Eilidhs name .Its of Gaelic origin and means “Red King” . Its easy to say once you get the hand of it honesty - Roo (rhymes with boo) - Ray . Roo-Ray .

Pictures from the first day of nursery

The first Friday night dinner at my mums after she got home and Rebecca gets to finally join in with the bubble machine fun.

How could i not have blogged about this already? Im amazed at how quickly time is passing these days, is the end of pregnancy not suppose to drag?

Yesterday was Rebecca’s hospital check up, she was taken in the morning and put under anesthetic again . The done whats know as a MLB and applied Mitomycin C to stop scar tissue forming.
We spent the afternoon is the hospital but thankfully she was sent home in the evening.

Doctor K was very happy with how she is healing, as he explained it before the surgery in June her airway was about 1/4 the size of what you would expect. Its now about half the size , he doesn’t feel he is going to be able to get it any better and for the moment nothing else can or will be done (which is good news, Rebecca may never be able to scream across a crowded room or become an opera singer but she will be able to live a perfectly normal and happy life) .
She will go back in a few months to see him in the airway clinic and i imagine a few appointments will follow in the future but as long as there not surgical we can all deal. She will also more than likely need some specialist speech therapy help but for the moment nothing will be done till her body gets time to heal and repair.

It looks like we are able to close the chapter of our lives now, its been a horrible and difficult time but with the support of my family and friends (and yes i mean all you guys , i count you all as friends and your support has meant everything to me these past weeks) we have got through it. Now we have nothing but good to look forward to - our son is due in just over 2 weeks , Rebecca is loving nursery and Eilidh will be starting playgroup herself soon. There is nothing but wonderful times ahead for my family.